Admiral Rear's LiveJournal

Spelling is a lost and dying art

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 06:41:51 GMT

Fuck you, Al Gore. All because you invented the Internets, I have to go around and read shit like this.

There were bad spellers in this world to begin with, but the Admiral's only seen this multiply ever since the Internets hit it big. To make matters worse, there's the whole abbreviation thing. I can understand if you're in a chat-room or doing this "texting" thing on your cell phone and saying stuff like "LOL" and "l8r," but there's no excuse on a place like TrekBBS where you're not under pressure to reply in a rapid-fire way.

So it took all the Admiral's willpower to not scratch out his own eyes with a used spork from Taco Hell when he came upon this thread:

"4 your eyes only"

Obviously it's about the James Bond film, but can't you take the time to spell it out? It's not like people are tripping over themselves to discuss that particular title. Turns out the whole thread is riddled with these types of spelling errors. A few culprits the Admiral is putting on notice for sodomizing the English language without lube:

RobertScorpio for the thread title, as well as "THE SPY WHO LOVE ME," "Priece Brosnan," "Brosnon," and "plane DUMB" (and he wasn't talking about air travel)
Tachyon Shield for "Brosnon"
Marc for "Patrick Steward" and "Rodger Moore"

Jesus H. titty-fucking Christ on a bicycle, guys... don't be dickheads. English is a great language, and you should be proud of it. It's the language of Shakespeare and Milton and the Bible. Just like you should respect your body thorugh bathing, grooming, and proper diet and exercise, you should respect the English language by spelling common everyday words as well as people's proper fucking names correctly. (Another pet peeve is the frequent use of "Jonathon Frakes," though obviously not in this thread here.)

Good Will Riker — off his meds?

Mon, 08 Dec 2008 19:21:44 GMT

Here's another TrekBBS twatwaffle who needs to drink a hot, frothy mug full of Shut the Fuck Up. In the year and a half since the Admiral last posted about Good Will Riker, the little creep hasn't improved. If anything, he's only become worse.

First there was the "I can't meet any chicks. Please help me, fellow chickless nerds!" threads in the Miscellaneous forum. Then there was the ongoing saga of him and Sonya, some girl from his church whom he wanted to date (regardless of the fact that she wasn't the least bit interested in him). There was a great deal of crap over that thread, as people accused him of not taking his religion seriously, and just using it as a way to pick up chicks (who weren't at all interested in him).

Well, the pendulum has swung back the other way, as we can see here...

It was just announced that plans have fallen through for Jurassic Park IV. Now the Admiral was pretty impressed with the first one, and thought the other two were enjoyable enough as summer popcorn films, but a fourth film was never a make-or-break for him. For Good Will Riker, the lack of a new movie with lots of rampaging dinosaurs (perhaps he calls them "Jesus horses"?) is actually a good thing. Here's why.

Everytime I catch actor Sam Neill on screen (film, television, commercials), I always think of him as that antichrist Damien Thorn from The Final Conflict.

So, I am glad that they are not making any more Jurassic Park films for the foreseeable future and that this actor will not be in any high profile Hollywood production ever again by portraying a charming man and an action hero adventurer when it is not beneath him to accept a paycheck to portray the son of satan in a Hollywood production.

Good riddance!

This is one actor who needs to seriously repent, or we know where he will be going once he casts off his mortal coil.

That's right, kids. If you're willing to play the Devil or one of his minions in a movie, then it ain't acting. Suddenly, acting ain't make-believe if you're portraying true evil. Then again, this is the same wet fart of a human turd who flips out at white actors playing ethnic minorities (e.g. Charlton Heston as a Mexican in Orson Welles' classic Touch of Evil), but recently suggested that Sylvester Stallone would make a good Khan (as in Star Trek II: The Wrath of...) because of his "swarthy appearance."

Apparently GWR's grip on reality is pretty weak, and he seems fixated on identifying Sam Neill with his role as Damien Thorn, to the point where every time he mentions the guy in the thread, he actually calls him "antichrist Damien Thorn."

Here's some more highlights:

A man who was low enough to accept a high profile role as the antichrist Damien Thorn in an Omen film turns around and portrays a hero for the children in Jurassic Park? How smarmy of him.

You got it backwards, dude, because you are thinking of his cool, likable image as Alan Grant first and then thinking that Damien Thorn role was something he did a long time ago.

No, I actually watched The Final Conflict on television a full 8 years before Jurassic Park ever premiered in 1993, and he is an actor who got "his charm down" like the way the real antichrist would in deceiving the real world into thinking he is a cool, popular, likable guy.

Nice try.

But, Sam Neill is a closet devil worshipper.

Put your childhood image of him behind, and see him for who he truly is.

A true Christian would have refused the role of Damien Thorn in The Final Conflict on the grounds that it is exploitive and goes against God and Jesus Christ. However, Sam Neill had no qualms in accepting such a role, so I do not support any of this man's projects or ventures.

There is nothing in his biography that states that he is a Christian or is a believer of almighty God, so he is just a low, filthy actor who would have the audacity to portray satan on screen to boost his profile.

Cubby Broccoli was wise not to cast him as 007. Imagine Damien Thorn uttering the lines "Bond...James Bond" on screen while ordering a vodka martini "Shaken, not stirred."

And, come to think of it what is Daniel Craig doing portraying the devil in an upcoming film?

Pagan actors who will regret it when their time comes.

They serious need to repent in order to be saved.

No, it is not funny because it was not beneath Sam Neill to accept the role of the antichrist and son of satan in a high profile film and turn around and portrays a children's hero in 2 Jurassic Park films.

A devil in disguise trying to sell a bill of "sugarcoated goods" to innocent filmgoing children, if I ever saw one.

We as lovers of God and Jesus Christ need to denounce this pagan actor like the way my fellow Christians denounced Martin Scorsese and The Last Temptation of Christ!

And don't even try listing all the other actors who've played demonic roles over the years!

They all need to repent to God and Jesus Christ in order to cleanse their souls.

Every single one of them and all of their associates who worked with them on those pagan films.

Especially Robert De Niro. The audacity of him to do a pro-Christian film like The Mission and turn around and portray the devil in Angel Heart shows where his allegiance belongs to in relation to God and Jesus Christ.

De Niro turned his back on God and Jesus Christ, so I turn my back on him until he repents to God and Jesus Christ for his sinful ways.

This is why the Admrial has never been a big fan of mentally unstable people finding religion. It usually turns into something all warped and fucked up like this. People like Good Will Riker have no grip on reality whatsoever, and while in the short-term, they provide a lot of laughs at internet messageboards, in the long run they'd be better off getting psychiatric help, because just turning it over to God doesn't seem to be working here.

Please donate to the "Buy Timo a Life Foundation"

Tue, 11 Mar 2008 04:41:06 GMT

TrekBBS is teeming with geeks and crazies who take Star Trek — or whatever goddamned show they're worshiping these days — way too seriously.

Some of them obsess over characters and their romantic relationships, whether they happened on the show or not (I'm looking at you, whoever the assclown was who invented Kirk/Spock slash-fic). Others spend hours poring over deck plans and tech manuals trying to understand how warp drive and the transporter work.

And then, there's Timo.

Timo (who arrogantly insists on signing all his posts "Timo Saloniemi") seems to have made it his mission in life to explain every little inconsistency in Star Trek in the most convoluted manner possible. To wit, from a thread asking why Kirk & co. met Admiral Morrow in the torpedo room in The Search for Spock rather than some other area of the ship...

...Treknologically speaking, it seems that a person could embark a refitted Constitution starship on three locations while at pier: the saucer portside rim, the torpedo deck, or the cargo bay. That's where a gangway tunnel could connect to the ship from the side.

The cargo bay would be nice for somebody wanting to come in, make a grand speech to a lot of folks (who'd look up at him in awe from the cargo floor below), and then quickly get out. But that set would have been hugely expensive... So let's say Morrow didn't want quite that grandiose a setting. Why not come through the saucer rim, since the nice lounges and offices and stuff are probably all in the saucer, and the torpedo deck is very utilitarian? Of course, it's a matter of not having the saucer gangway set ready, so we have to invent another exuse. Perhaps Khan had blasted that doorway to bits when we weren't looking?

Timo Saloniemi

Granted, he does acknowledge real-world stuff like the expense of rebuilding the cargo bay (last seen as a half-set, half-matte painting in The Motion Picture) or constructing the main gangway area along the saucer rim (never seen at all), but then he keeps coming up with reasons why not. Sometimes the most direct reason is best, and sometimes you just need to remember that IT'S A FUCKING MOVIE.

A bit further downthread, someone mentions Scotty's promotion to "captain of engineering" on the Excelsior. Indeed, when we later see Scotty, he's wearing the rank pins of a captain instead of a commander. But when we meet Scotty again in The Voyage Home, he's wearing his old commander's pins. Was he busted down in absentia? Did he pick up the wrong jacket on his way out the door? Did the costume department screw the pooch? (hint: it's the latter). Of course, that answer isn't good enough, because it's allowing Real World to creep in on Trek World...

Timo: Makes good sense. What makes less sense is how, after ST3, Scotty seems to forget he got that promotion, and in ST4 appears in Commander insignia at his court martial.

Perhaps Starfleet bureaucracy worked really fast and stripped Scotty of his promotion even before the trial was completed? Or perhaps the promotion was tied to the posting aboard the Excelsior, and automatically revoked at the termination of that posting?

Timo Saloniemi

cardinal biggles: Dunno, but he was re-promoted by the next film. It's hard to see, but Doohan's wearing captain's bars when he offers Koord some Scotch.

Timo: We might always say that Scotty was unduly pessimistic when dressing up for the court martial, and chose his old Commander pins (the ones he had still had on his older jacket when stealing the Enterprise, and which he thus wore throughout ST3 and ST4) in anticipation of a demotion...

Timo Saloniemi

Please, please, please, do us all a favor... slit your wrists with Occam's Razor. Just like a cigar is sometimes just a cigar, sometimes a uniform fuck-up is just that, rather than an engraved invitation to post your book-length treatise on the promotion and demotion procedures of Starfleet Command.

HULK-watch — Day 2

Wed, 05 Dec 2007 13:55:39 GMT

The Admiral promised you more HULK, and more HULK you'll get!

(in someone's thread fretting over where Knight Rider threads belong)

jkladis: So hard to determine. Man, I wish HULK were here to add his .02.
HULK: Hulk is glad you have asked, Neck Brace.

Hulk thinks Knight Rider is not sci fi or general TV. Knight Rider's category is "dumb." Is there a forum for "dumb?"
JKTim: We call it the Briefing Room.

(do guys scratch their balls in public?)

Hulk does not scratch Hulk's self there in public if Hulk can help it.

It makes puny humans cry, which just annoys Hulk.

(will flatscreen TVs spell the end of console TVs?)

Hulk makes all TVs flat when American Idol comes on.

(Berkeley Breathed "outs" Garfield in a recent Opus strip)

Hulk was SURE it was going to be dumb Spider-Man.

(what would Superman do if a plane he was traveling on as Clark Kent began to have engine trouble?)

CommanderTrip: I personally think Clark would super-speed to the belly of the plane, force open one fo the landing gear doors, and save the day.
Trekker4747: I could be wrong, but I doubt there's a way into the cargo hold from the passenger compartment in most planes.
Worf412: With punches, there's a way.
HULK: Hulk likes this line of thinking. Hulk does not care what dumb Superman would do because Superman is dumb. Superman would fly around and shoot eyebeams and Phantom Zones and whatever dumb stuff he does, when Superman would be better off smashing the whole plane then getting a sandwich.

(is it still better to buy a Windows XP computer?)

Hulk will hold out for a good long time on Vista. XP is fine for Hulk, and start button is green and not dumb blue.

Hulk hears bad things about Vista, and if there is one think Hulk does not need, it is Hulk's operating system making Hulk mad.

HULK-watch... Day 1

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 03:44:54 GMT

The Admiral realizes he probably seems like a festering well of negativity to some of you. He's always here bitching and moaning about TrekBBS posters being crazy, or assholes, or crazy assholes.

Just to show that the Admiral doesn't hate everyone, he's starting a series called "HULK-watch," where he'll highlight posts from HULK, who is quite possibly the damned funniest person on TrekBBS right now. That and he talks in the third person, so he has that in common with the Admiral.

Here's a few of his funnier postings:

(discussing Harrison Ford's appearance in the new Indiana Jones movie)

Hulk think Ford looks fine. He is older, but he looks younger than true age.

Hulk should be so lucky to look that good in Hulk's 60s.

(making one of the few amusing posts in Trekker4747's otherwise tasteless thread about his incredible shrinking penis)

HULK: Hulk is also a grower, but people know that already.
Manticore: I almost feel sorry for the woman who takes on Hulk.
exodus: Betty was a champ!
HULK: Well... Hulk is not one to brag, but... let's just say Hulk does OK.

(annual holiday newsletters — love 'em or hate 'em?)

Hulk does not send them because Hulk knows that people hate them. Hulk would prefer to receive more personal note from family and friends, but Hulk understands that the holidays are a busy time. People do not have time for personalized letters.

Hulk is satisfied with a card.

(New Year's Eve plans...)

Hulk tries not to drink too much. When Hulk gets drunk, all hell breaks loose. Buildings wrecked, property is destroyed, military is mobilized... it is all just too much hassle.

Better for Hulk to stay in and watch When Harry Met Sally.

(how many friends do you have on Facebook?)

People always try to join Hulk's Facebook. BAH!

Humans need to understand that Hulk needs to maintain low profile. Dumb General Ross always tries to get Hulk on his friends list, but Hulk is not stupid. As soon as Hulk accepts, Ross will send tanks. Hulk so sick of tanks.

(is it possible to "pick up" a friend?)

Yes it is possible to pick up a friend. It is even possible to throw a friend several miles through the air.

Friendship is kind of over after that, though.

(from the infamous "I think my cousin wants to fool around with me" thread)
(Holdfast suggested making a movie of this damn phony saga just before HULK posted this...)

HULK: Hulk just cannot deal with complicated relationship issues. Thinking about them too long makes Hulk's temples throb and then Hulk is not pleasant to be around at all.

MadBaggins should just do what Hulk does. Date for a while and then when things get too complicated, smash girl's house by slapping hands together. When you do that, you do not even have to bother breaking up. It is pretty much done.
Holdfast: I think the movie should feature a HULK cameo...
HULK: Movie can't afford Hulk.
Gibraltar: Hulk need to get new, reinvigorated franchise. Last movie sucked big green ass!
HULK: Don't even get Hulk started.

(from that moron splodenode's nonsensically-titled "thief victim crew" thread)

Hulk remembers this one time a guy tried to mug Hulk. HA! Did you know a human arm can fit into a mouth all the way to the elbow?

It is true. Bit of trivia for you from Hulk.

(and the pièce de résistance, in a thread about descriptive book passages)

Hulk humbly posts this bit from Hulk's upcoming biography:
Hulk's pulse pounded in Hulk's veins as Hulk's rage built up like steam in a train's engine. Hulk let out a bellow that blew out every window on the street, and if the puny humans could hear through their ringing ears, they would hear glass tinkling as it fell like rain.

Hulk held up two boulder-sized fits and plowed them into the ground with the force of a bomb. Cars leaped into the air as if startled, their alarms shouting all the way down the street. Puny humans toppled over as they gazed with cold fear in to the green face of pure, undiluted rage.

Never again would Baskin-Robbins run out of mint chocolate chip.
Hulk is still working out the kinks.

Keep looking for more updates. This guy is a fucking riot!

apostle83: So dumb, he doesn't know he exists...

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 04:38:14 GMT

Everyone's favorite gun-toting nut-job wannabe minister, apostle83 has struck again, posting photos of his handgun (cleverly concealed in his laptop bag) and bragging about how he lives his life in one of several states of "operational conditions."

You see, the Right Rev'd Fatty Two-Chins is his own walking, talking, flatulence-expelling Department of Homeland Security. Apparently, right now, he's in Condition White, the lowest state of readiness (which must be pretty laid-back, since the DHS alert chart only goes down to green). So if you want to sneak up and smack him silly with a big ol' sack-o-crap, now's the time to do it. There's also Yellow, Orange, and Red, which more or less equate to "Chill up my spine," "Soiling my shorts," and "ZOMG! It's Osama! Where's my spare clip?"

(note: The chances of him going up to Condition Red should not be discounted, since he's apparently among the wet-brained ninnies slavering over rumors started on Fox News Channel that al-Qaeda may have started the San Diego forest fires.)

Whenever anyone criticizes him for being a paranoid gun nut, they're labeled some sort of pinko commie Democrat who doesn't understand Bishop McCheese's Second Amendment right and warped psychological need to protect himself with live ammunition and a sleek, sexy dispenser.

But I'm getting off-topic now. Why did I start posting this? Because Pastor Twatwaffle is so fucking dumb he doesn't even know when he's being made fun of.

Exhibit A for the prosecution:

FordSVT: If I was a robber and came up to you and put a gun to your head, how fast do you think you could dig through that bag to get your handgun?
warriorsfan: Much like Dwight Schrute, apostle maintains a constant state of cat-like readiness.
apostle83: Thank you.

It's not a fucking compliment, you dumb cunt! Sweet zombified Christ, how dumb can you be?!?

You know what? Don't answer that.

Oh, the IRONY!

Mon, 20 Aug 2007 19:29:37 GMT

Today's topic of discussion at TrekBBS was some Disney Channel teeny-bopper crap called High School Musical, and a bunch of basement-dwelling geeks wondering why it's so popular (and probably envious that the premiere of High School Musical 2 drew more viewers than the first episode of Enterprise! Put that in your crack pipe and smoke it!)

One poster, who goes by the name K-Star, described the phenonmenon thus: "I think the whole thing is awkward and weird and immature."

People who live in glass houses shouldn't post avatars where they're brandishing phaser-shaped TV remotes at the camera.

I mean, honestly... just because you wear your geekdom on your sleeve does not entitle you to look down your nose at these people for enjoying what is ultimately harmless entertainment.

Here endeth the lesson...

It's only a BOOK, goddammit...

Tue, 31 Jul 2007 01:33:29 GMT

In case you were in a coma, the biggest book since Gutenberg started cranking out Bibles in his basement was released to the public last week.

I am, of course, referring to my autobiography, titled Fuck All Y'All, Ya Bunch of Assholes: Why the World Is Going to Shit, and Why I'm Content to Sit and Laugh at It. $24.95 in hardback, at most major bookstores in the tri-state area.

But that's not what you people want to hear about. You want to hear about that Harry Potter thing. Fortunately, the Admiral decided to do some reconnaissance work, seeing what folks were saying about Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows over at Barnes & Noble's discussion boards. To put it mildly, these people are unhinged, and they need a fucking Prozac like there's no tomorrow.

To start off, let's go with some posts in the "Emotional Responses" thread...

"I'm ashamed to admit I needed two sick days after reading this book; that has never, ever happened to me before! I was so numb and emotionally spent and kept bursting into tears when I thought of certain passages (especially Hedwig's death because she reminded me so much of my cat, Belle)and really needed time to process and come to terms with all of it. I hope I never get this way about a series of books again--and I really LIKED the book, especially the King's Cross chapter! Anyway, I'm fine now and I always have two friends who are psychologists if I need some extra help."
--dcsbelle

"I have felt depressed for the entire day and a half since I finished the book. I like how JKR ended things, but I'm missing the characters already. I've lost some friends. (and as I'm typing this I'm getting all misty eyed) I don't have anyone to really discuss this with and I thought maybe I was losing my mind by being so upset over a book. It was nice to see that there are other adults out there who are affected by this too. I'm very sad about all the deaths in this book but I do like the ending and I liked knowing that Harry finally lived happily ever after....he deserved it. Hopefully my sadness will leave soon and I'll be able to read all the books again.(and hopefully not get this sad again) Good Luck to all of us emotional ones!!!!"
--garage366

"I had made an agreement with my fellow Potter Fanatics to read the book and then get together for lunch and talk about it. We canceled, we can't talk about it......YET. Maybe one day, but not any time this month, I know that for sure."
--stmungos

"Yep. Feeling drained, bit numb... Post-Potter depression..." [I hear Tom Cruise has a cure for that...]
--StoryMing

"It takes a lot for me to get emotionally worked up about a work of fiction, but whatever JKR did in Chapter 34, it certainly did the trick. From the moment Harry gets the Snitch to open to the end of the chapter, I was crying."
--DrRaoulDuke [sweet Christ, what a pussy. Grow some balls and quit crying.]

And if you didn't think those folks were looney-tunes enough for you, how about this person, who's vowed never to re-read the series again because she didn't like the last book?

"It's almost like an emporer's new clothes situation, where there is so much hype about the finale of the series, that people are not seeing the book as it is.

"There was way too much death. The deaths of Hedwig and Dobby, in particular, were ultimately pointless and did not contribute to moving the plot at all. They just added more sadness.

"Your points about Snape were spot on. He also died senselessly. I was hoping to see a reconciliation between him and Harry, and he deserved to be part of the happily ever after. He was one of the last living links to Harry's parents. His story line is extremely depressing.

"There were too many fighting scenes and too much bloodshed. It probably could have been about 200 pages shorter. This is definitely not a children's series anymore.

"I won't be re-reading this part of the series."
--DinaMatt

Obviously DinaMatt hasn't been reading the interviews J.K. Rowling gave over the past several years... the ones where she said that there would be lots of deaths in the war against Voldemort, everyone was fair game, and that the series would become progressively darker. Is it darker and more violent than previous books? Yes, but not to the point where a 13-year-old would be emotionally scarred by reading the book. Even though this is a fantasy world, it's still a war... people die, sometimes senselessly. Sometimes innocent people get caught in the crossfire. That's life. Just because a book is part of the fantasy genre doesn't mean it should shy away from difficult life lessons. The Harry Potter series would have been weaker if everyone came out the other end unscathed.

Her post also illustrates the problem with mainstream American audiences... they do not understand the concept of the tragic hero. Harry was pissed at Snape for killing Dumbledore at the end of Half-Blood Prince, so why the fuck does anyone think Harry would believe Snape if he just laid it all out on the table? Snape had to die, and Harry had to view his memories to truly understand the man. Snape's death is only a cop-out to those who have such a loose grip on reality that they start to claim ownership of the characters. Just because Rowling killed off Snape does not mean she hates you or wishes genital herpes upon you and your future offspring.

Repeat it, slowly if you have to:

HE'S A FUCKING CHARACTER.
IN A FUCKING BOOK.
SET IN A FUCKING FANTASY WORLD.

Lather, rinse, and repeat until it sinks in.

Oh, for fuck's sake... is nothing sacred?

Sun, 08 Jul 2007 06:55:49 GMT

As if spreading his made-up looney tunes religion on TrekBBS and some hockey team's forum, now thestonedkoala (or RikkiTikkiTavi as he's known there) has invaded the forums of Literotica.com, home to writers of "stroke stories" of varying quality, and perhaps most importantly (for the old Admiral, anyway), a forum where its denizens post photographs of them cavorting in their birthday suits. Granted, there's some butt-ugly specimens of humanity there, but there's also some keepers. Oh, and it's FREE. Free, as always, is good.

So imagine my shock and dismay when the Admiral saw the name RikkiTikkiTavi attached to various and sundry replies to a gorgeous young woman who goes by the moniker "Miss_B_Haven." The name seemed familiar, and I remembered that at some point stoney had undergone a name change at TrekBBS (a shame he didn't undergo a medication change at the same time). But that, of course, is not conclusive. What is conclusive is Mr. Tavi's signature:

"Just be silly" - Zecheriah McJonez

That's right, just like stoney at TrekBBS, this guy quotes the imaginary voices in his head. Apparently he posted there before, under the username twoeyecyclops. In true attention whore fashion, his first post was of the "Hey, remember me? I was this loser before I registered under another dumbass name!"

Well, you're on notice, stoney. The Admiral will be keeping an eye on you from now on, to make sure that you don't pollute the Literotica forums with your brand of retarded nonsense. The Admiral won't have you and the 50,000 voices in your head interfering with his ability to look at nekkid women and spend some quality time with his one-eyed monster!

The Right Rev'd Fatty Two-Chins Strikes a Blow for Rank Shit Trollery

Mon, 02 Jul 2007 01:06:19 GMT

I guess it's not enough for apostle83 to be a Bible-thumping, gun-toting, homeless-person-hating whackaloon, so now he's added channeling legendary TrekBBS troll Enterpriser to his repertoire of annoying shit.

As if TrekBBS didn't have enough goddamned rules already, apostle wants the board staff to codify everything. This should be done, he claims, in the name of fairness, so people won't feel like they're being picked on. He thinks it would also make the rules more enforceable, whatever that means (I haven't noticed any mod having problems laying down the law when he or she needed to).

Sorry, Bishop McLardass, but I've got to call you on this one... it's BULLSHIT! I don't think you want those unwritten rules codified to be fair, unless by "fair" you meant "now the people I argue with, who are usually far more clever than I am, will get in trouble as well." And just like Enterpriser, I'm sure you'll be looking for loopholes, which multiply like rabbits as soon as a board's rules start to look less like broad guidelines for civil behavior, and more like the U.S. tax code.

TrekBBS already has way too many rules, most of them because Enterpriser forced their creation through his behavior. His is a legacy that should not be honored, apart from apostle's eventual permaban for being a despicable cuntburger.

AntonyF: Lazy Shit of the Year

Sun, 01 Jul 2007 04:27:38 GMT

For those of you who (like the old Admiral) have noticed TrekBBS to be having spells where it's about as slow as a Model T Ford (and a lot less reliable), we now have a person to blame for this shitty state of affairs: the board's tech administrator, AntonyF.

After much well-intentioned bitching in QSF about these problems, Antony came out and admitted what some folks have suspected for a while (given the neverending wait for the BBS' long-promised switch from UBB to vBulletin): Antony is barely doing his job and really doesn't care anymore.

The problem with Apache can be fixed when someone kicks it. The trouble is those someones are me and Christian, and I've gone the way of Christian of rarely visiting.

In fairness, Antony did use this opportunity to "kick" Apache, fix a problem with the program, and add T'Bonz and Spaceman Spiff to the list of people who can also "kick" Apache when it craps out. But for things to have dragged out this long is unacceptable.

As a "customer" of the BBS, this is shitty service. If I check into a hotel, I expect the room to be clean. If I go to a restaurant, I expect good food. If I go to a store, I expect it to be well-stocked and have reasonably intelligent people working there to assist me. The BBS should be no different. The slowdowns, crashes, and lack of any movement on the vBulletin update are the same as finding cum stains on the hotel bed or rats fucking on the restaurant's kitchen counter.

It all boils down to this: while Christian can get away with being an "absentee landlord," the BBS still needs its mods, admins, and tech guru to be available as much as possible. For Antony to slack off like this is a fucking travesty. I don't know if he's paid or not, but if Christian is paying him for his current "work," this is highway robbery. And if Antony is a volunteer, he needs to step aside and allow someone else who's equally capable to do the job, just like any moderator who goes MIA would be replaced eventually.

Antony, for the sake of the board and its users, either step up to the plate and do your job, or have the cojones to step aside for someone who will. As we inch closer to the Christmas 2008 release of Star Trek XI, the board needs to be running on software that's still actively supported by its manufacturer, and have a server that can handle the strain of hundreds, if not thousands of new users, an exponential increase in traffic, and the occasional episodes of slashdotting. Trek XI should be a bright, shining moment for TrekBBS, not the moment when its technical problems force the whole damn thing to sink to the bottom of the sea.

TrekBBS Retard of the Month -- Good Will Riker (pt. 1)

Tue, 26 Jun 2007 03:07:46 GMT

NOTE:Originally, this rant was only going to be a single post. As I was writing (and subsequently re-writing) the post you're about to read, I suddenly found myself awash amidst a sea of dumb shit worthy of my withering gaze. So there will be at least one more entry to follow on today's person of interest.

I've had this idiotic twatwaffle in my sights for a while, but some mental diarrhea he posted the other night on TrekBBS finally prompted me to speak my piece about one Good Will Riker.

Apparently, every single person on the planet knows that the final film role of the late, great Orson Welles (at least in the order in which he performed them) was as planet-devouring robot baddie Unicron in 1986's feature film toy commerical Transformers: The Movie. According to recent news reports, "Orson+Welles AND Transformers" was the third most popular search on Google, right behind "Paris+Hilton+naked" and "Abe+Vigoda AND still+alive?" At least, in the sad, strange little world Good Will Riker inhabits, that's the case.

So when an Associated Press reporter named Jake Coyle decided to do an article tying Welles (in the news again because his masterpiece Citizen Kane once again topped the American Film Institute's list of the 100 greatest American films) to the upcoming live-action Transformers movie directed by Michael Bay, GWR immediately poo-poohed him as "Mr. Obvious," and a nominee for the "No Shit, Sherlock" award.

The article wasn't intended for you, fuckface, it was intended for the vast unwashed masses who remember Orson Welles from film appreciation class in college (and some commercials for cheap jug wine), and remember Transformers from when they were growing up, but never put two and two together. But no matter. It's a free country, and GWR is free to go on his fanboy rant and make an ass of himself. Unfortunately, he couldn't be satisfied with just that. Instead, he then moved into an area where it became quickly apparent that he has no fucking clue what he's talking about: Film criticism.

For out of "This reporter guy is an idiot for telling me something I already know (forget about the thousands of other people who will read that piece)" springs this brilliant bit of analysis:

And just for the record, I found Touch of Evil to be an over-rated piece of shit that made me fall asleep watching it with Charlton Heston portraying a very unconvincing Mexican.

You won't get much arguments from others on this board when I tell you that Transformers: The Movie from 1986 has "10-times" the rewatchability value of Touch fo Evil which was a piece of shit style of filmmaking. Film noir... you don't get it... what not... It's still a steaming pile of shit.

Wow... "a piece of shit style of filmmaking." How very insightful. Of course, it doesn't help when he digs the hole deeper...

I consider Transformers: The Movie to be my absolute favorite Orson Welles film of all time!

Yes, that's right. I've seen Citizen Kane, Othello, The Third Man, and Touch of Evil, and NONE of those films have the rewatchability value of Transformers: The Movie for me. It is the most eccentric role he has ever played: a giant, planet killing machine. Brilliant!

So it's not really about the actual artistic merit of the film, it's about the film's "rewatchability." I can respect that. Schindler's List is a better film than The Blues Brothers, but I've watched the latter far more often. But "piece of shit style of filmmaking" still isn't a terribly intelligent reason to not like it. Is there perhaps something deeper going on? Maybe "deeper" is giving GWR too much credit, but there is definitely a secondary issue at hand.

Hirogen Alpha: Touch of Evil is a great film. Not without its flaws, but great nonethess. I had the pleasure of seeing a 35mm print of the restored version a few years ago and it looked incredible. Assuming we're talking about the restored version, based on the cuts Orson Welles wanted. The previous version, with studio enforced changes and reshoots, isn't worth anybody's time.

Good Will Riker: No, I would not subject any of my closest friends and loved ones to sit through any of that unless they want to see Charlton Heston doing a piss-poor job of convincing the audience that he is Mexican with his fake brown make up tan and bad Anglocized Mexican accent. He mangles his Spanish, and gets along with the other whites in the film as one of the "Good Old Boys" while the real Mexican residents are treated like they were worse than garbage by the corrupt white town officials.

I have not met one Mexican or Mexican American who considers Touch of Evil to be a brilliant cinematic masterpiece. They consider it to be a joke, and a piece of garbage that inaccurately portrays Mexico and its citizens through Anglocized eyes.

So the real reason he dislikes it is about race! Charlton Heston isn't a real Mexican, so therefore his performance must be an abomination. (Oddly enough, I've never heard Jewish people complain about the quality of Heston's performances in The Ten Commandments or Ben-Hur, but what do they know?)

One of the keys to understanding Good Will Riker is to understand that he is eternally obsessed with race. He's the same moron who spammed up the BBS with threads about how Star Trek was "celebrating" something called "Asian-American/Pacific Islander Heritage Month." Well, no, Trek didn't really celebrate it, he just used the occasion as an excuse to post a laundry list of all the Asian actors who've ever appeared on Star Trek over the years. While that's all well and good, doesn't it kind of defeat the point of Trek (or at least the original series), which showed whites and blacks and Asians working together and regarding each other as friends and not giving a tinker's cuss who belonged to what group?

As I bring this segment of what has turned out to be a multi-part rant to a close, I'd like to point out the inherent irony in GWR seeing fit to accuse Mr. Coyle of having a small penis for the crime of referring to Transformers: The Movie as "little-seen" (which it was; damn thing flopped like a fish on the deck of a boat). If anyone were to accuse GWR of having a small penis, they'd be accused of perpetuating racial stereotypes. Well, he can tar me with any fucking brush he wants; it won't change the fact that he wouldn't know a good movie if it came up and sucked his microscopic cock.

BILL GATES CAN SUCK MY COCK

Mon, 25 Jun 2007 05:21:05 GMT

I HAD A VERY LONG RANT ABOUT AN IN-DUH-VIDUAL OVER AT TREKBBS ALL READY TO GO. THEN INTERNET EXPLORER ATE MY FUCKING POST WHEN IT RELOADED THE WHOLE PAGE AFTER I GAVE IT PERMISSION TO SHOW POP-UPS FROM LIVEJOURNAL.COM. NOW I HAVE TO START THE FUCK OVER.

SUFFICE TO SAY, THE ADMIRAL IS VERY, VERY, VERY PISSED OFF.

Get out of the goddamned basement already...

Sun, 24 Jun 2007 02:36:12 GMT

It's always a shame when you come across someone who initially strikes you as intelligent and then turns out to be a hopeless geek.

Take "Ingrid," a Barnes & Noble customer who lists herself as an "intelligent Japanophile." Her review was for one of them "manga" comic books the kids are reading these days, something called Make 5 Wishes, "starring" that wannabe-punk pop tart Avril Lavigne. ("Starring" in the sense that they're probably paying her a great deal of money to feature a character named Avril Lavigne, and her input is most likely limited to her agent making sure the book doesn't cast her in a negative light.)

Ingrid's review gave the book two out of a possible five stars, so I had some hope that she might be somewhat intelligent, rather than posting idiotic fangirl squee. Unfortunately, I was wrong. She's just as stupid as the other reviewers, the only difference being that instead of posting inane AOLer/JeffK gibberish about "OMG AVRIL TODULLY ROXXXXXXORS! THIS BOOK IS TEH SHIZNIT!," Ingrid unloaded her vast repository of pointless Asian comic book knowledge all over the keyboard...

Don't waste your time, folks. The story is trite, cliche, and adolescent. I didn't like the art, but then I've never been a fan of American comics. 'Ah,' you say, 'but it ISN'T an American comic! It even says in advertisements, 'Plus, be sure to check out the new Japanese manga, Make 5 Wishes, featuring Avril as a main character!' You see that? 'The new JAPANESE MANGA.'' It is neither Japanese, nor is it manga. If you couldn't figure that out from either the art or the main character, well... my condolences. It is yet another one of the many imitation-manga that American artists have flooded the market with. I wish that we could get it right over here, but no matter how they try, our 'manga-ka' always ending with stupid stories and amatuer art. And this is yet another example, but with a pop, parent-approved punk 'princess' slapped on for extra pre-teen marketing value. 'even if it were good it wouldn't be manga, folks... manga is exclusively Japanese. ^.~ No, not even Korean comics are manga. Those are Manwha. Subtle difference.' So, it's been mislabed and overhyped, or else you never would have heard of this sorry tome. If it weren't for Avril's name on it it never would have gained any notoriety, and let us pray for all our sanity that it never does.

Well, that's very special. I really don't give a shit whether it's "manga" or "manwha" or "manga-ka" or "a suitable substitute for the now-defunct Sears Catalog for those of you still using outhouses." It's a crappy comic book that would never have seen the light of day if they hadn't been able to stick Avril Lavigne's name on the cover! You could have left it at that and made your point, but like all retarded geeks who don't know how to shut the fuck up, you KEEP ON GOING until EVERYONE in the room wants to tie you down to a table and let a sumo wrestler introduce you to his VERY GOOD FRIEND "HOT CARL."

Sorry. Had to get that out of my system.

Seriously, though, "Ingrid," if that is your real name, get out of the basement, and knock it off with the jibber-jabber. Save that shit for Final Jeopardy, because unless you own a comic book store, it's going to get you nowhere in real life.

TrekBBS Looney of the Month -- thestonedkoala

Tue, 05 Jun 2007 22:26:20 GMT

This month's object of derision and scorn makes me long for the days when crazy people who heard voices and talked to themselves were locked up in mental hospitals. Instead they get million-dollar book deals and go on Oprah to peddle their looney-tunes wares (conveniently available in overpriced hardback, audiobook, DVD, and soundtrack of the DVD formats).

The No-Prize I'm giving out here is actually two months overdue, but since the old Admiral's been away on sea duty lately, he hasn't been able to keep up on the latest TrekBBS posts. I have been around enough to know that thestonedkoala is not exactly playing with a full deck, and makes Goji look well-adjusted.

Back in April, stoney posted a thread in everyone's favorite wretched hive of scum and villany (the Miscellaneous forum) wondering if it was weird to give last rites to roadkill. The obvious answer is "Fuck, yeah!" but somehow the thread managed to drag on for another 35 posts.

Ukavich (I always butcher his name...hence why I call him Ukey or Union) and I were talking tonight at a fast food restaurant and I was discussing how I came close on killing a few animals with my car this week (stupid possums and deers) and how horrified I would be if I ended up killing them. (Though we also debated, can you really run over a bird but that's another question all together). I asked him if it would be weird if I gave last rights to the creature in question if I ever ran him or her over? He didn't give me a real good answer because he didn't really know. So I'm stuck. I see road kill a bit but I was wondering if I shouldn't like give the creature in question last rights. It was LIVING and possibly one of us, or err, a human at one time, I think or an alien. That is another debate all together but, do you think people would have problems if I gave last rights to road kill?

The "Ukavich" he speaks of is quoted in his signature:

"[Fundamental] Christians are closed off to the universe around them," Ukavich Baye. "Believe in the Elali and Elalé and the universe becomes so much more."

If you're as puzzled as I am at this point, you're not alone.

It becomes a bit clearer below:

Scatta: I don't think that's wierd at all. Talking to the voices in your head (which I assume Ukavich is) and mentioning aliens in a serious post, on the other hand...
stoney: *kicks Scatta in the foot* They talk to me, I only talk back!

Mallory: I gotta say stoney, that this topic is approaching Jayson levels. And could you put the names of the voices in your signature or something? I'm finding it difficult to keep up with the spirit turnover that occurs in your head.
stoney: I noticed that...And yeah, yeah...As you can tell three of them died so far *sighs* It's tough keeping up with them too...

So "Ukavich" isn't his friend, he's a fucking voice he hears in his head? Wait, it gets better...

Trekker4747: Considering animals don't get any kind of afterlife, I'm guessing that, yes, it is a little bit odd. If not completely unnecessary.
stoney: Well...as a Karahachian, I believe animals do get an afterlife...So ...I actually didn't think it was weird but since Ukavich is Christian (I think I forget what he is) he thought it was.

AJBryant: Well among the obvious questions -- do you have the *authority* to give last rites at all?
stoney: According to Zechariah (who has died ) and Abdullah, I have. Or had. I don't know.

Trekker: In Catholicism animals do not have immortal souls, so they cannot be given last-rights.
stoney: But I'm not Catholic I'm Rystanian-Karahachian, a branch off of Christianity.
Trekker: And Christianity dosen't believe animals have immortal souls either.
stoney: Eh, that's their problem. I should have said, Christianity and Rystanian and Karahachian are all branches of the same religion...It's confusing.

He's a "Rystanian-Karahachian"? What the fuck is that? Apart from sounding like someone ate the names of several Middle Eastern countries and shat them out again, a quick Google search will reveal all.

Amazingly enough, it reveals that this is a nonexistent religion invented by either stoney or the blue-batshit-crazy voices in his head. The only references I can find to either "Rystanian" or "Karahachian" lead to two places: TrekBBS, and -- of all places -- the off-topic section of the official BBS for the Minnesota Wild of the National Hockey League. Here's what he posted there:

I am a Rystanian - Karahachian, errr Christian...Yeah a Rystanian - Christian ...

Most people hate my religion and think it's stupid but I believe in it and I only want to spread the word of Rystan. I have my own holy days and my own practices...

It took me a long, long time to figure out where I stood, where my religious beliefs lie and I found them recently. I created my religion because of my questions and if anyone thinks it's easier to create your own religion, which has no validity, you are wrong.

It's harder to be a Rystanian then a Christian. It's harder then most religions because you only have a couple questions? What is there after death? Is there a God? Is my religion right?

Mine is, is there other religions out in space, do aliens really exist and what are their religion? Is Rystan really?

And in another thread (titled "I am too religious!")

I've seen this thrown at me, but let me tell you this, I am a very, very religious person. I am not Christian but I do believe in Christ and his miracles. I am a Rystanian and I'm very proud of my religion. I carry a rosery around with me every day and I pray to the Almighty Elali and Elalé every day. I preach not violence nor hatred but I do question everything that is presented to me. I am a very and deeply religious person because I have been an athist before and I've been a Christian before and none of these fit.

So this is all a bunch of bullshit he invented? Apparently so.

Before you all glare at me, saying that I'm cruel and picking on another person's religion, the truth of the matter is that this isn't a religion, this is a crazy person off his meds. Take his recent Misc thread, "I've sold out..." Ostensibly it's about how he's unhappy with his life because he quit his job at an independent movie theater for a (presumably more stable and better-paying) job in corporate America. But then he starts dragging these other "people" into it...

*sighs* I'm so ashamed of myself right now, it's not even funny. Jefferson Towers, who I rarely ever talk too since he rarely ever visits my head, and I talked tonight and the last time he talked to me was sometime last year and I think he was with Zecheriah or Maquis (I can't remember) but yeah so we talked. He said I sold out...and the sad part is, he's right. I quit my job at an independent movie theater to get a job at a faceless corporation and in doing so, I cut off all my hair and became a faceless employee.

What can I do to redeem myself?

And some subsequent conversation...

thumbtack: If it's any consolation, I don't think you'll ever fit in with mainstream society.
Scatta: That's exactly what I was about to say.
stoney: Technically I fit very well into mainstream now...except whenever people come up to me on the streets. Not really good business practice to be muttering to yourself (though cashiering is different) while helping out customers. *sighs* Which is why I really dislike corporations. Alamo had no problems with me hitting my head against walls or muttering to myself.

This is obviously not a normal person we're dealing with here. This is someone who needs the services of a fucking shrink, and I mean yesterday.

Oh, and as an addendum to that earlier stuff with him giving last rites to roadkill, only a few weeks later, he posted complaining that he'd lost his rosary beads...

...And now I can't give last rights to road kill (which strangely enough I haven't seen since I last posted. Conspiracy?). I don't know where the hell I placed it or what the hell I did with it. I loved it too and it was one of my most cherished items I owned (my necklace from Scatta is another cherished item, maybe I can use that?). I don't know what the hell I am going to do without my rosary. Man, I am a really, really bad Rystanian-Karahachian.

Now how am I going to bless dead animals?

Fortunately, he located the damned thing a couple of days ago:

YAY! After much fruitful searching I can safely say that my rosary is back in my hands...*sighs* I need to remember that I stick things in my trench coat and that I need to check there regularly if I'm missing something. So far I've found a book and now my rosary in my trench coat. I wonder what else is hiding...

Discretion is the better part of valor, and I'd just as soon not find out what's hidden in your trench coat.

stoney, if you ever read this, get yourself a fucking shrink. Mumbling to yourself, talking to the voices in your head, and inventing your own religion is not exactly what folks consider "normal," and you really freak me out. Not that the Admiral is afraid for his personal safety, but you'd be a lot better off in a rubber room where the doctors and nurses can make sure you're firmly here on Planet Earth.

TrekBBS Asshat of the Day: voggmo!

Sat, 19 May 2007 01:25:32 GMT

One of the joys of being online is having to deal with people who are about as smart as a postage stamp. What's even more amazing is that people would actively cultivate such a personality so they can be an annoying cunt and then plead ignorance when others call them on it.

Take today's asshat, voggmo, who in the illustrious shoes of Dayton3, pretends to know diddly-shit about computers as an excuse to either not back up his opinions by providing links to supporting websites, or to back them up by reposting the full text of five-thousand-word horseshit essays on why gayness makes psychiatrists commit suicide.

Mind you, voggmo does not post in TNZ. He claims it is because he requested and was ignored (though he never made such a request in the appropriate QSF thread), though remembering his past behavior in the Briar Patch, I doubt the staff would let him in TNZ anyway, except maybe as a revival of that stuff the Romans used to do where they'd feed Christians to the lions. He hasn't given up his old ways, though. Last week, he posted a thread in the Miscellaneous forum about a news story regarding some bank robbers with a "James Bond" car -- a BMW that can throw down an oil slick behind it to make anyone chasing you lose traction. Rather than post a link to the article, he posted the whole thing verbatim, right down to a little snippet at the end that would come back to bite him in the ass.

It's not like he doesn't know the rules; if you're going to post an article, you have to also post content with it -- your opinion of the article, something for or against what the article is dealing with, wry observations, whatever. So he leads off with this:

Well, I guess I have to "say" something interesting or relevant about this, or it will get closed, hmmm, let's see... I'll work on it. OK, how about this, Kids don't steal, crime doesn't pay. Even these guys went to jail.

He then posted the entire text of the article, and I do mean the entire text. Including this:

Copyright 2005 by nbc4.com. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, rebroadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

But we'll get back to that later. First, Locutus of Bored takes a witty shot at voggmo's PSA there.

Locutus of Bored: While I agree with your bold and controversial "crime is bad" stance (you really should leave those kinds of heated debate opinions in TNZ though), you have to give these guys style points for at least having a little D.B. Cooper-like panache.
voggmo: OK, Locut, how's this, Kids, there are other career opportunities not taught in college. Entrepreneurial endeavors are how individuals make bold & interesting statements & escape the tedium of factory or boring corporate ladder lifestyles.

Shortly later, Misfit_Toy, former TNZ/Briar Patch mod and smartass extraordinaire, notices the copyright statement at the bottom of voggmo's news flash. Quoting it, he asks:

What part of this statement escapes you? You've used links in the past, albeit rarely. Why not this time?

Well, here's why:

voggmo: Links can't be posted in this cafe. & the rarely comment is rubbish as you well know. I post more links in discussions than any opponent. [Mostly]Harmless, Darth[Tom] etc. A fact perhaps you are uncomfortable with?
Misfit_Toy: I'm not sure what that is supposed to mean, but I said that you had posted links in the past. What does posting in a café have to do with it? BTW, I noticed you still ignored the "This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed." portion of the article.
voggmo: The cafe will not allow links to be copied, therfore, they cannot be posted.

"I noticed you still ignored the "This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed." portion of the article."

1st off, didn't see it. 2nd off, why bring up this uninteresting, unthread related bit of yawnful nitpick personal vent disguised as an uninteresting question?
Misfit: Could it be because there are rules about posting copyrighted material on TrekBBS? Rules that I know you are aware of since you have been informed of them in the past? Interesting that you see Board Rules as "yawnful nitpicks" though.

Yep, here it comes. voggmo can't justify why he thinks he's above the rules, so he'll try and twist it around into "Mommy, he's picking on me!"

voggmo: No it couldn't be, but thanks for dumb inference.

Didn't say board rules were nitpick. Thanks for yet another dumb inference. Your derailing the thread by highliting an unthread related point is a yawnful & dumb nitpick. Your particular style of mental masterbation I suppose. If you want to impress, throw up an interesting thread instead. Your irrelevant & lame attempt at a personal jibe is an expression of uncreativity, ( those who criticize are generally the one's who cannot create).

Have you anything else dumb to share? You spend a fair amount of energy on dumb nitpicks. I smell troll.

Certainly glad I was not the fat girl at your highschool.

An "unthread related point"? A "yawnful" nitpick? "Uncreativity"? Where the fuck is he coming up with these stupid words? Misfit, being the smart guy he is (and a veteran of numerous similar "discussions" with voggmo), sees right through it:

Misfit: So you still have no defense for breaking the rules? I guess not, since you tossed in a personal flame too. You're a real class act.
voggmo: Not to good at the reading thing eh Mis? I said I didn't see it. My heavens, time to get a life. Perhaps you could considered getting help for your insecurity issues which are manifest in your immature need to stick pins in your neighbors.
Misfit: Again with a personal attack. Can't you argue your position without flaming?

Point 1 - No link. Your excuse doesn't wash because you don't have to use the "copy" function to create a link. Typing in the information works just as well and can still be done from the cafe.

Point 2 - You've been told by moderators in the past not to post complete copyrighted articles. Not bothering to read the information that you were posting is your error, not mine.

Point 3 - There's an old adage around here that goes "Post, not poster". My comments have been directed at your post. You instead chose to attack me personally. Either post that crap in TNZ where I can respond properly, or don't waste everyone's time.

Of course, now that the gauntlet has been thrown down, voggmo will do what any intelligent person would do: play with it like a hand puppet and then use it in lieu of the toilet paper that the Lord hath provided for various personal uses.

Point 2 - You've been told by moderators in the past not to post complete copyrighted articles.

Nope, never happenned. [BULLSHIT it didn't!] Moderators should have by now warned about personal stuff & lying & posting irrelevant unthread related material.

Dunno if your typing trick will work, but why bother, just a short story, not an important sort of argument related link or something. Again, you're spending an inordinate amount of time & energy on exactly nothing. Rather silly it is. & you started it, so don't waste everyones time like you're doing. Have no access to TNZ. & your post not the poster dodgde is very phony & seethrough.

it's obvious you've some past beef about some long lost argument or something. Take a chill pill, let it go, or if the compulsion persists, see if your doc has some maturity pills on hand.

Rules are rules, except when you're a congenital idiot who can't figure out how to cut and paste URLs and use UBB code. And I love the irony in his crack about "maturity pills," given the number of times he's railed against the APA and psychopharmacology.

Now it gets kind of confusing, because voggmo doesn't know how to use quote tags, but I'll try to sort it out. Misfit replies to two points voggy made: that he wasn't told by moderators to post links...

Bull, I told you myself.

...and his lack of access to TNZ.

If you have no access to TNZ you can simply ask for it - otherwise your continued flames and personal attacks merely reflect on you.

Now the mod, RJDiogenes, steps in, and guess what boys and girls? That's right, voggmo got a warning!

RJDiogenes: One warning for flaming.
voggmo: Warn him, he started it. [Oh, now that's mature.] Flaming & trolling only reflect badly on you.

Bull. I told you myself. So what, are you are mod?
Misfit: I was when I told you not to post complete articles.
voggmo: So complete articles are also a criminal activity in your world. Hate to think what would happen if your kid spilled a glass of milk.

Trolling & flaming only reflect badly on you.

& did ask for entry into TNZ & was ignored. A blatant freedom of speech violation & perhaps legal issue.

Free speech? What free speech? It's a private board! We can have our "free speech" cut off at any point if Christian decides he wants to. And what legal issue? Is he going to be one of those infantile posters who promises to save every thread where they've been insulted and show it to their lawyer.

So yeah, that's the basic rundown on this childish troll. Let's all drink a toast to his eventual banning. One of these days he'll do something really stupid that'll be going too far, and get booted for it. With any luck he'll at least be smart enough to register some duals so he can come back and get booted again.

voggmo, today's TrekBBS Asshat of the Day.

Trekkies Overreact to Innocuous Comment! Film at Eleven!!!

Fri, 11 May 2007 14:41:41 GMT

Apparently actors can't even make off-the-cuff remarks about Star Trek without drawing the ire of millions... well, thousands... well, maybe half a dozen foaming-at-the-mouth Trekkies. Trekkies have such a persecution complex that someone can't even make an amusing comment without it being taken as an affront to every Trek fan in the world.

Take this recent Entertainment Weekly interview with Keri Russell, promoting her new movie Waitress. In the article, they mention that the only big controversy that's ever surrounded Russell was when she cut her hair for the second season premiere of her TV show Felicity. (Compared to, say, Paris Hilton driving under a suspended license, or Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan doing laughable stints in rehab.) They asked her why this is the case, and here was her answer:

"I'm a nerd," Russell says, adding that her Felicity costar (and former boyfriend) Scott Speedman used to call her "Homework Reminder." "At lunch, I would always be going, 'Guys! We gotta get back! We're gonna get in trouble!' Scott was like, 'Homework Reminder, chill out, we'll be okay.'" She shrugs. "I'm just a nerd. That, and I can't stay awake past 10 o'clock, which is usually when bad things happen."

So with that declaration in mind, read this passage, from the end of the article:

Though Russell hasn't decided when she'll return from maternity leave, she can be confident that there will be at least one person waiting for her. "I love working with Keri," says Abrams. "There's hardly any [project] that comes around that I don't wonder if she would do it." What about his upcoming Star Trek reboot? Would he consider casting the former Mouseketeer as a hot Klingon? "That'd be awesome!" Abrams says, laughing.

It might take a little convincing, though. In the park, Homework Reminder wrinkles her nose at the idea: "I'm not that nerdy!"

I thought it was an amusing way to end the article, but apparently some of the mouth-breathers at TrekBBS thought differently. Here's some choice responses:

Well, Keri Russell can just go jump in the lake. She's about to learn that Hell hath no fury like a bunch of Trekkies scorned!
--Captain Dago

MY OH MY! That's a classic cockpunch to the groin of millions of Star Trek fans that might have been or would have been fans of hers. :-)

Wait! Could she had been trying to say "I'm not that needy!" still an insult by any other name Keri.

Lets see where your career is darlin' in 20 years when your scraping the bottom of the barrel for any acting gigs and Playboy comes to you asking to pose in the alltogether before your looks and fame dull to the attractive lustre of a worn out copper penny. ;-)

What will you say then, "I'm not that nudey!"

She seems as stuck up as a tribble on viagra.
--Ninjawitch

slappy: ...and with that she makes "the list".
PythonTrek: <Colbert voice> You are dead to me, Keri!!!

Does she even have a career anymore? This could have helped it.
--Dar70

While she could have been saying this tongue-in-cheek...

...she things that being in (what's becoming) a high profile movie that has instant name recognition and guarantees an actor to be in a fandom's eye forever is suddenly nerdy?

Y'know how many actors would kill to be in a Trek movie regardless if the end result is a P.O.S.?

Now, granted, she just may not want to be in a Trek movie. That is fine. Not everyone would want to dive into that if they do not think it is for them, but they should at least be tactful when commenting on it.
--Broccoli

Why do you stupid people think that your damn show and your damned stupid fandom is the be-all and end-all of the universe? Oh, an actor doesn't want to be in Star Trek! They must be just begging to flush their career down the toilet. Shun the non-believer! Shunnnnnnnnn!

It's retarded people like this who help give Trekkies a bad name and maybe make quality actors and actresses think twice about signing up for a movie or TV show, knowing they're going to have to deal with unwanted scrutiny from these fuckin' bozos someday, whether on the street or at a convention.

TITS!, spam, and the TrekBBS Asshat of the Day

Wed, 02 May 2007 00:02:05 GMT

I'll be up front with you all... the old Admiral loves him some tits. Nothing like spending weeks at sea on maneuvers with a bunch of men of the same sex and/or gender makes you appreciate the female form (particularly the upper portion of it). So when I heard something about TITS! over at TrekBBS, I figured people had come to their senses and allowed some good, old-fashioned, all-American NUDITY on that board.

Boy was that a fucking crock of false advertising. Nobody's posting pictures of tits. Instead, they're just posting the word in threads that are doomed to be locked by the moderators. Sort of like back in middle school, when you'd try to goof off while the teacher stepped out into the hall. The part of me that never grew up (fear not, ladies, it's not that part) sees the fun in this. Some day, I might join in.

Over the weekend, some folks took it a bit too far, though. Some dumb fucker spammed up the board with threads about some cancelled video game from ten years ago, and in response, these people posted "TITS!" (or something equally lacking in content) dozens of times. As a result, they paid the price, getting warnings for spamming, and having 500 posts knocked off their post count.

Fast-forward to late last night. Seven of eleven starts a thread in the QS&F forum praising the punishment, and wondering how firmly and how frequently the new penalty will be applied to other posters. I'm all for the moderators being consistent, but they're also only human. If every instance of "TITS!" or other goofing off were punished, half the board's posters would be banned. What does this guy want the board to be, a military school? A prison camp? Sounds like a frustrated wannabe staff member to me. And what's in the name of hot buttered Christ is the deal with this post?

I'm somewhat perplexed. Perhaps this is ascribable to my predisposition on the issue and someone with a more dispassionate viewpoint could elucidate as to why there is an indisposition towards ridding the threads in question of spam, particulary when the "fun" (aka spammy) threads in Misc and the entirety of the lounges wouldn't be touched.

So in addition to being a backseat moderator, this guy is also a pretentious cunt who likes to drop big words like "predisposition" and "elucidate." That's why Seven of eleven is Admiral Rear's TrekBBS Asshat of the Day. Go out and get some air, Seven, and if that doesn't work, go fuck yourself.

March of the Morons, Unabated

Tue, 20 Mar 2007 18:51:48 GMT

TEH STUPID, IT HURTS. For a good old headache inducer, nothing quite beats a cursory overview of TrekBBS's "The Neutral Zone" forum. Also, it's good for laughs, albeit bitter ones.

While there's plenty of stupid to go around, ideologically speaking, the Moron Contingent in TNZ is heavily represented by those allying themselves with "The Right". They're the loudest posters; also the angriest, the whiniest, and the first to claim persecuted victim status when they're called on their loud, angry whining. The Admiral could pick and hold up for well-earned ridicule at least a dozen of these wanking tools, but the absolute top stars can only be the cretinous duo known as Tarantulas and KIRK1ADM.

Now, here's a sad but true fact: the Right in America has been Wrong for years, continues to be Wrong, and will most likely be Wrong at least until the Retarded Boy King is retired from office (though probably longer). But rather than surrender a single inch -- rather than, for example, admitting that their chest-thumping, war-porn loving, idiotically authoritarian predictions about the Iraq War were dead fucking wrong from Day One -- the Fuckbag Twins pretend they have always been right, about everything, and will be right forever, no matter how fucking wrong and how fucking stupid they are shown to be on a daily (and the Admiral means daily) basis. As I write this they have each started their own thread concerning How Swell Everything is Going in Iraq, and please you ugly hateful traitorous Liberals, do not besmirch the golden truths being laid out herein. Pussies.

The war is four years old, and if you could go back in time to 2003 and post to these idiots how things are gonna turn out, they would sneer and laugh and make up shit and call you traitor, but it is under exactly those results that they are pretending everything is ginchy and good. To be so desperately protective of one's worldview must take up a lot of energy and more brainpower than either of these fuckwits appears to possess, so one can understand, if not approve, of their inability to assert a single thing that isn't made-up bullshit.

Oh, and if there is proof needed that God has a healthy if twisted sense of humor, look no further for evidence than the Admiral's favorite pumpkin-headed drooling slob of a subhuman piece of fart flesh, apostle83. When not slobberingly agreeing with everything posted by the Dildo Duo or posting ludicrously inane comments in threads in which it's clear he hasn't Clue One what the issue at hand even means, Charlie Brown-noser is starting hilariously terrifying threads asking what handgun he should buy. There is but only one response to that question, Pudge Job: "Whichever one will fit in your mouth."

Welcome to Generation ADD

Mon, 26 Feb 2007 22:30:53 GMT

Sweet buttered Christ on a cracker... the idiotic things they'll discuss on TrekBBS:

"How has LOTR films aged?"

The goddamn films aren't even that old yet! Hell, last December it was just five years since Fellowship of the Ring was in the theaters.

Is this the curse of the internet age and the 24-hour news cycle? We have no time to actually let the dust settle before we can analyze its impact, whether we're talking about wars or politics or entertainment. Instant analysis is the name of the game, and it's a fucking stupid game. Academic "wise men" are being replaced by smug armchair quarterbacks whose analytical ability should be restricted to nitpicking last week's episode of Lost.

Damned if I know how long you should wait before you analyze the global importance of something, but it's a bit early to be asking if Lord of the Rings has aged well.

A very special horse-lover...

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 01:34:55 GMT

(And I promise this is the last Barbaro-related thing I'll ever post. Today.)

Someone from the Tim Woolley Horseracing board posted a short story about Barbaro. That's right, a short story.

Read it and gag...

For All Of Us who Love Barbaro
I dedicate this story.

Barbaro was having another bad day, he hadn’t slept well. Even with the pain medicine he still hurt. His legs hurt, all of them, his back hooves hurt. He hurt all over and he was tired. He loved all the people here at NBC, especially Dr Richardson, but he was tired of these four walls, he wanted to go outside and feel the warm sun again. He loved his mom more than anyone, she knew him better than anyone, and bless her heart, she always had the blue tote with the fresh Lael grass. Lately, he didn’t even much feel like eating, but he did to please her, He always tried to put on a show of feeling good for mom, even trying to nip her occasionally to make her smile. He loved to see mom smile.
But still, the truth was he hurt and he wanted Dr Richardson to make him well, once and for all.

When Dr Richardson came that morning, he had his “procedure” face on. Here we go again, Barbaro thought. Another surgery, I’ll wake up in the swimming pool. I sure hope Dr R has the cure for me this time.

When Barbaro started waking up, he felt something tickling his nose and when he tried to open his eyes there was a light so bright it almost blinded him. The light felt wonderful, it was so warm, and it was hard to describe, the light felt like love. It surrounded him and felt so good, like all the hugs his mom had ever given him. When his eyes adjusted to the light more things became aware to Barbaro.

He wasn’t in a pool ,he was in a field of clover and buttercups and the tickle on his nose was a butterfly!He also noticed he felt no pain, his crooked legs were straight again ,his hooves were well ! Dr R had done it, he remembered now the last thing DrR had said….Barbaro when you wake up you’ll be good as new!
The Light he felt, he now knew was GOD himself, the Creator of all life.

God himself welcomed him to Rainbow Bridge. He explained to Barbaro it is here that all animals wait for their human keepers
So they can cross the bridge to Heaven together.

Barbaro had never seen so many horses, dogs, cats, animals and birds of every kind, large and small. Everyone got along, no one was sick and all made him feel loved and at home.

A couple of the horse who greeted him were there by special permission from God, they had already crossed over the Bridge but wanted to welcome Barbaro. Barbaro knew of the legendary stores of Man O War, Seabiscuit and War Admiral, here they were to say hello. There were also a couple donkeys that came to greet him. One once carried pregnant Mary into Bethlehem, the other one had carried Jesus in to Jerusalem.

Barbaro was so happy to be here. He thought this has to be the greatest place in all the world . He spent the afternoon racing Secretariat to the fence and eating clover with Lost in the Fog. Yes, he was very busy his first day at the bridge, he even learned he could FLY!! He always knew he could run fast, now he’d become a horse angel and he could fly!! He could look down on Earth and see all the people who loved him. He could finally put names and faces together. All the FOB that had faithfully loved and prayed for him, sent him cards and letters , baskets of flowers, apples and carrots, pears and those green mints he loved.
He was happy but they all looked sad. He wanted to yell to them,
“Hay, it’s me, Barbaro,I’m well. Your prayers have been answered. Don’t be sad."

Barbaro had had a long day. He thought it was time to go to sleep.But before he did he had one thing he had to do.

Hello Laurie H,
I know it’s been a long day, you look sad & tired. Why don’t we get your blanket.. Honey, tonight I’m going to cover you with my blanket, the sage cashmere one you gave me, it’s always been my favorite. Don’t be sad, Laurie, God made me well.
Tonight, We’ll pull the blanket high on your neck so you can feel my love for you. As you sleep the dream angel will come. Guess what, Laurie, it will be me! I’m your dream angel now. Sometimes when you’re just waking up, and you feel a tickle on your nose or a hair across your face,you’ll know I’ve been there to check on you. That tickle is my mane touching your face.
Shhh time to go to sleep. I’ll be here for you every night when you sleep.

XOXOxoxo Barbaro

That being taken care of Barbaro could finally lay down to sleep himself. He wanted to dream about the First Saturday in May,the day he and his pal Edgar had run the very best race. He could still remember Edgar’s hand on his mane, the smell of roses, his mom’s hug and he fell asleep hearing the song thousands sung that day…

Weep no more, my lady
Oh weep no more, today,
We sill sing one song for
My Old Kentucky Home
For My Old Kentucky Home
Far Away………………….

I love you Barbaro
--Harriette B.

If there's an award for horribly written fanfic, this deserves to at least be a nominee for the final round of voting.

Weepy Horse-Lovers of the World, UNITE!

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 01:33:57 GMT

These people just don't know when to stop posting and pop a Prozac or open up a fifth of Jack, do they?

First, more postings from the UPenn Veterinary School's messageboard have been added to the earlier entry. Click on the second LJ cut.

Next, postings from the Tim Woolley Horseracing website. I didn't think it was possible for people to be more unhinged than the ones on the UPenn board, but amazingly enough, these folks are. A healthy sampling below the cut...

(from the afternoon of 1/29, before the press conference where Barbaro's death was officially announced)

I LOVE YOU BARBARO!!!!!!
BIG, BEAUTIFUL, BABY BARBARO!!!
((((((((((((((BARBARO)))))))))))))) MY HERO!!!
I LOVE YOU!!!!!!
--Faye

Oh Dear God!
Barbaro rise above it Sweet Spirit. Dear God Carry him PLEASE! My heart hurts. [Your heart and my head.]
--Renee A.

Oh, No I am crying so hard, I couldn't sleep last night. Please dear God, heal and save our Barbaro! We beg you! Not a press conference.
--Delia S.

Thank you God for Barbaro's right and perfect healing, and for his complete recovery. Thank you God that miracle follows miracle, and wonders never cease.

Magnificent Steed! Another day closer. We hold the vision of your wholeness and your balance - hind legs restored, perfect and complete - in vibrant good health.

The Light of God surrounds you
The Love of God enfolds you
The Power of God Protects you
The Presence of God watches over you
Wherever you are Barbaro, God IS.

Thank you God for the presence of Barbaro in my life.

Love, Light and Protection for Barbaro
--Mary S.

PRAYER FOR THE BARBARO NATION:

The wisdom, passion and fierceness of our love and support for Barbaro is without limits. May we take the energy of our concerns and transform them into a unified tapestry of prayerful support, each in his or her own remarkable individuality contributing a thread here, a bit of wisdom there, a nugget of prayer here, until we create, in loving and united community, a powerful, uplifting web of prayer that supports the right and perfect healing that Barbaro is experiencing every day. May we be inspired by his courage to remain steadfast in ours. May we accept the truth of his journey. May we grow in understanding the strength that inspires Barbaro to be the fiery champion he is.
--Susan

Precious Barbaro: Praying 24/7 for your complete recovery. Asking our Heavenly Father to heal your legs and get you back to a healthy road to a long, happy and healthy life. Father, please hold our Precious Barbaro close and help him to get better. He wants to live, Father, please give him a chance.

Father, thank you for the "Miracle of Barbaro"

Lost in the Fog: My angel horse....please help our Barbaro to get over this setback in his healing. He's a fighter, like you, and wants to live. Foggy, help him, please.

Father, thank you for "The Fog"

Barbaro Family: Praying for everyone that we will get thru this......we need to hold onto each other. Thank you for being here....we need each other so much right now. Barbaro needs us most of all. Please try and stay positive.....God has Barbaro in His hands.....I pray that God's will is our will......that Barbaro will over come this.

"Please Pray for the Horses"

"No Horse Left Behind"
--Jeanette C.

Alex, I am glued to this site... [must... not... make... joke... about... glue... factory...]
--Anita

Barbaro... I have a purring kitty on my lap right now. I know how you love cats. She's trying to tell you she loves you and she wants you to get better.
--Ashley

God Please bring us good new in the hours to come. I can't even go out and skate or go to the track. I usally do on Monday. Today I have to stay right here by my computer to make sure that you are doing what I trust you will do and that is to start healing our big beautiful brown eyed colt. Please God I am asking from the core of my heart of you to please please not let anything bad happen to Barbaro. Please perform a mirical.... We all need it and Barbaro wants so badly to live a long happy life. Please God, let him do that OK? I am being very humble here God and I am trusting in you right now. I am going back to the "Ye of Little Faith" verse in the bible...... Well I have faith that you will perform a mirical today.........

In Jesus name Amen........................
--Nina

---------------

(after the press conference)

I just read that Barbaro was put down... I am hysterical and crying so hard i cant breathe. we all have to come together and be strong, we all love him so much and he will live forever in our hearts. Please god watch him up there, please make sure he is running free with all of his buddies up there. OMG i cant believe this, my heart hurts so bad. I read this news on thoroughbredtimes.com I feel they shouldnt have printed this news and gave team barbaro the dignity to tell us this news. I pray for them and i thank them for everything they had to do for bobby. They are amazing people and my heart goes out to them. OMG how am i going to get through this, i hurt so bad... I LOVE YOU BARBARO
--Stefanie

WHAT!!!!!!!! I can't believe this.... As I sit here in tears I can't believe that God let us down............. I can't even type right now............ Man this can't be happening, it has to be a bad dream.... :-(

God Bless You Barbaro.... I will always love you...................... more than anything... in this world...........
--Nina

I am sick, tears blinding me, like the rest of you dear FOB's. [Friends of Barbaro] We are still FOB's.

I see him running,full out, with that long, straight, open stride that did make him look like the skybird, as others said here today. He is tossing his head, he is running with The Fog, and Secretariat, and the fields are full of sun, flowers, and birdsongs.

Our Dear departed pets, like my Murphy and Koko, were among all the throngs who waited on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge. He came over like a rocket, in a blinding flash of light. All of our Dear Ones ran up to him and touched him and kissed him, and the hand of God stroked his head. God said, "Well done, Good and Faithful Servant; welcome Home. Run and play, eat in the abundant fields, and watch the light coming up from the Earth--it is the Love of all those whose hearts you won; it is the Love of all those who will never forget you."

I love Barbaro, and all the FOB's. God Bless Alex, Dr. Richardson and all the people at New Bolton Center, God please bless and comfort Mr. and Mrs. Jackson, and give them peace for doing the right thing for their (and our) Dearly Beloved Barbaro, Undefeated Champion of our Hearts.
--Sue M.

The radio is playing "To Sir, With Love" [which has fuck-all to do with WHAT?]
--Chris B.

Yes he did.... We have been praying for his recovery all this time and I put my trust in God that he would heal Barbaro and he shattered my trust...... I can't even think......

I love you Barbaro.......... That is all I know right now.. I can't even go out and do anything... I am just going to take some valium and try to calm down here because I am crying so hard I can't function..... I'm sorry but I feel that God didn't answer our prayers because if he had, we would still have our beautiful horse and he would be living a long healthy life.......

I am devistated..... and this is making me not want to believe anymore...... :-(
--Nina [again]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ...
I JUST GOT THE NEWS FROM MSNBC BREAKING NEWS!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, IT CAN'T BE ... IT CAN'T BE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
--Linnie

Barbaro didn't give up... God gave up on Barbaro................

I am really really out of it here.......... [in more than one way, yes]

I love you big buddy.... I will always love you. You wanted to live so bad and you didn't have a say in this did you... Man this sucks.......... Sorry guys I am just really hurt.........
--Nina [again]

I cannot even function. I am at work and cannot even function. [If a horse does that to you, God forbid there should be another 9/11 or a thermonuclear war...]

I love you, Barbaro.
--Sheila

I ppart of me died along with Barbaro. He put up such a corageous fight. We were all fortunate to have in in our lives. May he finally be free of pain.
--Mary

My sweet Angel Barbaro, You are in the healing embrace of the Allmighty, run free in eternal pastures envolved by everlasting light. The Lord has released you from the shackels of earthly suffering, Your Spirit will shine on forever, Amazing Grace.Your legacy will never be forgotten. You have healed all of us. Champion of My Heart Forever.
--Eva

I was out driving around and heard it on NPR. A simple, dignified announcement:

"We’ve been following the story of Barbaro, the Kentucky Derby champion. We’re sorry to report that he was euthanized this morning. His veterinarian, Dr. Dean Richardson of University of Pennsylvania's New Bolton Center, says that he had a very bad night."

I came straight back here to be with all of you. Odd...I looked around at the other cars...No one else was crying. [maybe that's because they're all playing with a full deck...]
--Marilyn

I know I am starting to calm down. I just need time. When stuff like this happens I blame God. Look at all the prayers that we sent to God to heal Barbaro so he could live a long happy life. When he died today a part of me died with him. That is why I felt and sort of still do that God let me down... Why pray when he doesn't listen? I am glad that Barbaro is not in pain and I am not mad at anyone. I feel for all of them and I know there are a lot of tears in this world today. Where the heck is God now? That is my question.........

I just need to hear from my big brown eyed buddy and know that he is really and truly OK.........
--Nina [again]

I feel lost, I miss him, I can't stop the flood of tears, but I know Barbaro is in a better place running with the wind in his mane and sunshine on his back. I know in my heart he could feel everyone's love and that is part of the reason he hung on as long as he could.

There was a beautiful sunset this evening here in central CT... all purples & pinks and there was a cloud formation coming out of the brightest area and it looked just like a horse's tail when they are at a full gallop. I like to think it was Barbaro sending a message that he is galloping in Heaven.

My heart aches.
--Judy

TrekBBS Poster of the Day (good, this time!)

Tue, 30 Jan 2007 00:53:54 GMT

Science-Fiction & Fantasy moderator and all-around wiseass JKTim gets the award for his sensible response to the tragic, earth-shattering euthanization of Barbaro, that king of all legendary race horses.

In the Miscellaneous Forum thread about Barbaro's passing he had the following to say:

I'm making Jell-O shots this weekend in his honor.

And sniffing glue.

My kingdom for a race horse! (updated 1/30)

Mon, 29 Jan 2007 23:30:46 GMT

Fucking irrational is what this is. All this weepy shit over a damned horse.

In case you didn't hear, Barbaro, that race horse that broke his leg at the Preakness Stakes back in May, had to be put down today.

Sorry, but I don't see what the big fucking deal is here. I had to put my dog down last year, and I didn't see the Action News camped outside the vet's office. Barbaro was a HORSE! A FUCKING HORSE!!! A horse that spent the last eight months receiving better medical care than 46 million uninsured Americans (and probably a lot of insured ones, too).

What's really sick is the reaction certain overly sentimental and weepy members of the general public are having to the horse's death. UPenn's school of Veterinary Medicine has a Barbaro message board where folks are posting away, pouring out their hearts over a goddamned animal in ways they've never felt for their fellow man. I doubt the message board for Doctors Without Borders (if they even have one) is flooded with this sort of sentimental rubbish about murdered or raped women and children in the Sudan.

So below the cut is a sampling of some of the nonsense being posted in memory of Barbaro. Make sure you've got your puke pail standing by... you will need it.

Rest in Peace, Barbaro. You brought strength and beauty into my life and happiness. I will never forget you or those feelings.
--Linda V., 56; Atlanta, GA

just heard the horrible news; can't believe it; i feel numb as must all of you. thank you so for the wonderful care you gave to 'our' beautiful angel. i will never forget him--or everyone on his team. please accept my heartfelt sympathy.
--Mary Anne H., 62; Waukegan, IL

I feel so bad. Like I lost a good friend who gave me great joy. but I know that now he is in no pain and will live forever in our hearts. And I will see him when my time comes.
--Karla L, 55; New York City

I love you Barbaro, I will never forget you, everything I do, I will do it for you. Always in my heart you wil be... [does Bryan Adams get royalties for that?]
--Deanna J., 9; Gloucester Twp., NJ

God bless the heroic team who tried to save this magnificent horse. He is now running after fillys in the wonderful oat-filled fields in Heaven!! Barbaro will be waiting at his final gate to welcome you to live with our Savior.
--Mary Lou S.; Mesquite, TX

Barbaro shall wait at the Rainbow Bridge and one day, as he is grazing under a clear blue sky, he will look up and see his most beloved human and cross over the bridge with that person. God bless his beautiful spirit.
--Karen O., 50; Marathon, NY

We are so saddened. We've cried together as a family and are trying to find solace in the fact that now you are running free.
--The Martins; Sydney, Australia

Sleep well my beautiful prince...... my heart is breaking but I know you are galloping through the gates of heaven free of all pain... I will never forget you, You brought Americans together in peace for a short time because we all love you so... [or because we all love a good media circus as much as the next schmuck]
--Sherryl; Sarasota, FL

I no very little about horse racing. [or spelling] But know a HERO when I see one. [or grammar, for that matter] He has inspired us all thank you for sharing him with us He has touched so many We LOVE YOU Barbaro. thanx for the great care
--Larry M., 41; Williamsport, IN [wait, Larry is 41 and he said "thanx"?]

We miss you barbaro and i have a beane babie barbaro. I wish that barbaro is still alive and race again.My mom was on the computer and said that barbaro's mom has another baby boy.I own a buckskin horse his name is Hobo. [what the fuck does that have to do with the price of tea in China?]
--Jennifer, 11; Annapolis, MD

Good night sweet prince.
--Teasha, 52; Keansburg, NJ

It Hurts so bad!!! I find relief in that Barbaro's team truelly loved him so much that TRUE LOVE knew no boundaries to save him. He has finished the race and made it home with GOD. GOD=LOVE.
--Cynthia S., 33; El Paso, TX [this one was posted THREE TIMES!]

I can not read ,listen or watch any story regarding my sweet Babrbaro without breaking down in tears. He captured our hearts and did not let us go. God bless you all for everything youv'e done.i will miss you so much.
--Hillary R., 42; Claremont, CA

I think Barbaro if he could talk in words would be saying thank you for giving me the chance, not giving up, and for loving me, showing me the very best of this world and helping start my next journey. [But he can't. Because he's a horse. And dead.]
--Dominique H., 30; North Carolina

WE LOVE YOU, THR ROYAL AND CORAGEOUS PONY THAT YOU WERE. WHAT AN EXAMPLE YOU SET FOR ALL OF US=IN STRENGTH, LOVE AND OBEDIENCE TO ALL YOUR FAMILY ANF CAREGIVERS.ENJOY YOUR FREEDOM FROM PAIN AND SUFFERING WITH THE ONE WHO WENT BEFORE.
--Ardis K. (and family), 70; Merchantville, NJ

I am tearful and sad that you chose to put Barbaro down. I'm dissappointed that with all the advances in medical science and this is the only outcome. Why couldn't he just live the rest of his life out peacefully on a farm?
--Cynthia L.; Philadelphia, PA [Well, Cindy, it's kind of hard for a horse to get around WITH NO FUCKING HIND FEET. The advances in medical science are what kept him around for eight months instead of just euthanizing him right there on the racetrack.]

My deepest HEARTFELT sympathy to ALL involved with THE CHAMP!!He WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN!!!Dr. Richardson,u did ur all and I cried as hard as u!!!Jacksons, thanx for giving him a chance. BLESS BARBARO!!! REST IN PEACE!!!
--Diane R.; Wayne, NJ

link: http://www.vet.upenn.edu/barbaro/messageboard.php

TrekBBS stupid person of the day

Wed, 10 Jan 2007 23:18:17 GMT

mrsspock, who apparently has a low opinion of city-dwellers and how they behave at the movies...

From a Trek Movies thread about moments in the films where the audience applauded...

"I think it depends on where you are... a theatre in a big city... where execs and yuppies go, I think are more likely to have that....

"in the more rural areas where country people live... you have better manners... that's just my opinion and I'm sure someone will argue with me... but the business types can't be without their phones, ipods, pilots, or whatever..."

Ten to one she lives in the middle of Bumblefuck, Kansas and wouldn't know what to do with an iPod if you gave her the instruction book.